Dont think anything about what you are going to be in future or what you want
Until and unless its in your hand right now, you have no right to think about that
Else everything will happen just like the last few years which you have only end up thinking and wasting your precious time.
See what's your priority right now , think about it and then keep your future plans aside for later.
Else you will be losing your today's precious time thinking about future and then regretting these same actions in future
You have to accept that fact that you are not better than someone else in some particular field. There is no comparison and should not be any.
Every human kind is different than one another. You can not or must not waste your life setting up a goal to be Iike someone else.
Why you have this need to be known by someone or do something just to be known or be popular then you are lacking serious motivation to do something good with your life
Stop proving yourself all the time. Start repairing process. Do things which excites you, not to show it to someone as to prove yourself but to learn and grow and be happy.
Isn't being happy the most valuable thing in a human life. Nothing else ever matter.
Be excited that you are breathing and you are living far better than some people. If you are wasting this time being all unhappy then you are actually throwing away the opportunity you have to live well.