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Not weak, just really scared

What is happening in the nation? With all mob lynching,  rape cases, injustice,  protests,  how is one feeling safe anymore. 
There are lot of things which happened in the past too which made me question is this so hard to be a girl and especially Indian? A girl who chose to stay away from the parents- her safety net to go build her career struggling all her way through the sociopaths and risks. Is it all worth it? 
People say I am a really good person because I put myself out trying to not hurt someone's else emotions because i know how does it feel to be on the other side. 
I am feeling so scared to be scared.  I want my mum's lap, my dad's shoulder, my grandparent's hands on my head and my brother's support. I cannot and not want to trust anyone anymore.  Is it so hard to be a girl? Is it have to be?
Why can't I go on a solo trip,  why can't I choose to be not involved with anyone till I am 30 or maybe ready, why can't I opt for the job which is kinda 'man' job ? 
Did someone know most of the girls put their brave face to go out of their house daily because of you guys. You guys are not making her feel protected all the time.  You guys ,the 'feminist ' guys, who believe in equality forget that we do not live in an equal world,  we live in the world where there is corruption,  sociopaths and over privileged guys who think that they can do whatever they want to do atleast to the physically weaker section of the society.
I am angry, scared and getting more and more skeptical to trust anyone. It's the truth I don't want to hide anymore. 
This is not the kind of the world I want my future kids to raise into or even the kind of the world where I can feel happy to be into. 
I am not feeling safe here. Period. That's all you need to hear right now.
-From an emotionally vulnerable person right now who wishes if she could be a little more stronger to fight through all this and not get affected by this and still manages to put on brave face every day to step out in this super scary world.

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